Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Working Like Dogs

I just loved this post at Deliberations last week where Anne Reed discussed the findings of some incredible recent studies:
"According to a groundbreaking new study by the Department of Labor, working—the physical act of engaging in a productive job-related activity—may greatly increase the amount of work accomplished during the workday, especially when compared with the more common practices of wasting time and not working."Our findings are astounding: By simply sitting down and doing work, employees can dramatically increase their output of goods and services," said Deputy Undersecretary of Labor Charlotte Ponticelli, who authored the report. "In fact, 'working' may revolutionize the way people work." Perhaps even more shocking, the study reveals that not working significantly decreases worker productivity, sometimes even resulting in no work getting done at all. Similar findings were reported in the areas of avoiding work, putting off work, complaining about work instead of actually working, pretending to work, and fucking around. "Fucking around is in fact detrimental to the work process," the study reads in part."
But Anne, you forgot to include this quote:
"A similar study conducted at Harvard University over a period of three years attempted to determine conclusively whether working was more productive than various different subsets of not working. The results showed across the board that working is 100 percent more productive than listening to music and checking e-mails, 100 percent more productive than meandering around the office socializing with coworkers, 100 percent more productive than playing online Sudoku, 100 percent more productive than watching YouTube videos of nostalgic childhood television programming, 100 percent more productive than reading celebrity-gossip blogs while chatting with friends on Instant Messenger, 100 percent more productive than napping, and 98.2 percent more productive than not showing up to work."
Make no mistake. My team at the office works like a prized sled dog team. We don't gossip, meander, socialize, play Sudoku, or watch YouTube videos. We work diligently to keep our clients happy and informed. My staff and I take personal ownership responsibility for the practice. We're all business but we do enjoy a good joke or laugh once in a while. Thanks, Anne, for providing it this week. BTW, the next time I catch someone napping on the job, they're fired!

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